Recognizing Truth

Pornography is an utter lie. I am convinced that if people recognized the lie they would be appalled and they would turn away from it. But I am also convinced that we don't start by showing them the lie and trying to describe the lie in it.

I grew up in a time when pornography had to be acquired, either from a friend, or a bookstore, a barber shop, or perhaps stolen. It wasn't ubiquitous. I did see pornographic images. I saw pictures from a nudist publication when I was in eighth grade. They were sort of grotesque. Probably a little too honest. I saw busty Playmates a few times in high school. Bustiness did not appeal to me then or even now. I did see more explicit porn in a barbershop when I was around seventeen. Not good but I only recall seeing it once. I did seek out images in the public library from encyclopedias and books aimed at teaching teenagers the facts of life. It stimulated some erotic feelings but the images were probably too honest to qualify as porn.

Yes, in every way I was a pretty typical teenager confronting the demands of the body but my religious training had developed in me a conscience that wouldn't let me get too far into the weeds of sexual gratification. I was a virgin on my wedding night and in spite of my limited exposure I still had a lot to learn about true love and intimacy.

The truth of pornography is that it is anti-love. In fact it is even anti-pleasure. Somehow we need to demonstrate to children what true love and true intimacy is. They need to experience love of a deep and profound sort before they experience pornography.

But how is this done? Mom and dad need to demonstrate true dignified love to their children. They need to show their children what it means to be loved. They need to put their children in a position to learn what love really is.

Even so, a child will learn things about his or her body in the privacy of the bedroom or bathroom regardless of how much contact they have with others. Mom and dad need to discuss these feelings with their children and why they exist and how to use them and how to master them. They need to be able to speak frankly and candidly about them. A father needs to be able to say to his son that touching and handling his penis can give him a good feeling but that those good feelings are God given and that God expects us to save those feelings for the special way he wants us to use them. He needs to let his son know that he can talk to him about these feelings without guilt or shame and that if he makes mistakes in the way he experiences them that he can talk to his father about them.

We must teach the love of Jesus Christ. We must let them know that Jesus suffered brutal torture voluntarily and did not succumb to it or use His immense power to stop it or numb it. Children can learn that they can deny their bodies.

We need to teach them how this self-denial is an act of love that will bless others.

We need to prepare them for the reality that they will see enticing but false images of worldly pleasure and that they need to turn away.

We need to teach them that God loves old people, infirm people, fat people, skinny people and deformed people and that these images deny all such people.

We need to give our children opportunities for service starting in the home and family.

When our children can recognize and experience authenticity they will learn to reject lies and falsity.

We ourselves need to fill them with God's word so that they come to a place where they cannot sin.

I will continue to explore how children can experience authenticity and discern truth in subsequent blogs.